sigh. woke up not too long ago by a message from Matthew. I dreamt of you. I really did. whether it was of the past or for the future. I do not know. it was the sweetest dream ever since everything happened. I wish I will never wake up from it. I don't want to. because my life is a nightmare itself. I want to be in this dream forever. just you and me walking hand in hand, again.

dear God, I don't know if you place such dreams as a constant reminder of your promise. or is it just an illusion that I deceive myself with each day. life is getting tougher for me each day. no future known. nothing I can accomplish. please give me strength. amen.

shall be on my way out now. literally.